


We're Convincing No One

by CaptainMercy42



Series: Security - ins and outs [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Blow Jobs, Bisexual Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Budding Relationship, Destiel - Freeform, Gay Panic, M/M, Security Guard Castiel, Security Guard Dean, porn viewing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMercy42/pseuds/CaptainMercy42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Dean Winchester was in a 'thing' with his co-worker. A gay thing. He wasn't sure if they were dating- well no, he was sure they were not dating by heterosexual standards- but he wondered if there were gay definitions of dating that would accommodate a situation like theirs. Like maybe there's a trial period where the guy who thought he was straight familiarizes himself with the contents of his metaphorical closet and then wraps his head around the idea of abandoning said contents. Maybe that's called 'closet time' and it's a thing and if a guy takes too much closet time you kick him to the curb, but you don't be too hard on him because society is the true asshole here and closet time wouldn't even be necessary if it weren't for generation upon generation of judgmental, ignorant pricks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Convincing No One

**Author's Note:**

> All you have to do is ask!  
> (As long as it's once every six months or so, and I'm able to take something that was 99% written and throw it online like some sort of hero, when that is totally not the case and I have a chapter one of another fic just dangling in the air right now)
> 
> But enough about me. Have some awkward.

So Dean Winchester was in a 'thing' with his co-worker. A gay thing. He wasn't sure if they were dating- well no, he was sure they were not dating by heterosexual standards- but he wondered if there were gay definitions of dating that would accommodate a situation like theirs. Like maybe there's a trial period where the guy who thought he was straight familiarizes himself with the contents of his metaphorical closet and then wraps his head around the idea of abandoning said contents. Maybe that's called 'closet time' and it's a thing and if a guy takes too much closet time you kick him to the curb, but you don't be too hard on him because society is the true asshole here and closet time wouldn't even be necessary if it weren't for generation upon generation of judgmental, ignorant pricks.

Okay, Dean was 99% sure that “closet time” wasn't a well-known gay dating phenomenon (because he googled it and the results were too varied to be conclusive) but that didn't mean there weren't 50 other real gay dating phenomenons that he knew nothing about. 

The timer on Dean's phone went off, indicating that he should take his paranoia out for a stroll. Vigilance.  The name of the game. He tried to put not-dating Castiel out of his head. 

Which was really unfair. Cas actually liked to dissect people and plots and digital subcultures.  Dean knew this about him, because they were having a gay thing that Cas would probably know the name for. 

Their first time was the night of Mr. Gabriel's party, in front of the camera bank. It was seriously workplace inappropriate, but was so unexpected and subdued compared to what they were watching on the monitors, that Dean didn't even feel bad about it.  That was one benefit of always going above and beyond, at work.  He earned himself a few concessions.

The second time was after a strung-out trip to IHOP, followed by a mid-morning viewing of Fargo. Pretty typical friend stuff, until Cas popped Mr. Gabriel's DVD into his XBox, and they were off, with Cas in the lead, always cranky that reaching out for Dean's shivering and confused body was distracting him from their video. He did a lot of rewinding, which gave Dean some time to look Cas over in the light of day and come to grips with the fact that yeah, this guy gives him a boner (which he then helps take care of). 

Their third time was at Dean's place. It was around 8:00pm on his Tuesday off, and there was a knock at the door. He opened it without checking the peephole, to find Cas smiling a reserved smile of pride. 

"I stole your address from HR." He bragged. 

Dean did not reply by freaking out and pointing out that Cas had no idea what his plans were and his brother could have been there eating dinner or something. He did think these thoughts to himself. But then he took a breath and drank up Cas's triumphant expression and laughed. 

"What, you want a prize?" Dean finally settled for, because that was nearly flirting and he wasn't sure how they would get to messing around without also viewing some bisexual porn, and his personal stash was all hetero (not counting the girl-on-girl). 

"I'll accept a prize in the form of a cheeseburger. Do you know a good diner? Also, do you have fast internet?"

"Yes. And I like how you just invited me on a date that I have to pay for." Dean's manly flirting was a little like calling Sam out for stupid shit.  Yuck. On the bright side, the need for fast internet was promising.

"I'll leave the tip. Let's go." Cas rumbled. "The feed starts at 10."

Dean grabbed his coat and led them to his favorite burger joint, all the while quizzing Cas on what he meant by "the feed". 

That night they played Scrabble, after which they tuned in to some hippy dippy free love orgy that a group of colorful individuals had decided to share with the world for a really nominal one-time fee of $2.99. Cas put it on his paypal account.  The camera  angles were weird, and some of the participants were a little older or heavier than Dean was used to seeing in porn or at Mr. Gabriel's parties, but overall it was kind of hot. 

Not half as hot as Dean slowly getting Cas naked in his own living room, lit only by the flickering screen of the laptop which was set up on the coffee table with the sound coming out of Dean's good stereo speakers. 

Dean stared at Cas's revealed body for a full minute before he realized Cas was staring back, ignoring the two old guys trying to double penetrate a jolly round woman.  

"You're hot." Dean stuttered out, then he leaned forward and started sucking Cas's cock to avoid any further embarrassment. 

In all honesty, those first few encounters with Cas were rife with nervous fumbling, lack of communication, and implied consent, at best.  Dean didn't know what he wanted to do or what he was expected to do, and the constant porn buffer only raised the bar of his best guess as to what Cas wanted. Cas was respectful, generally slow moving, and calm, but that didn't stop Dean from getting butterflies every time things started to get sexy. then he would find himself diving head first into new territory in some kind if misguided effort to keep Cas satisfied with his inexperienced groping.  

Such was the case for the impromptu blow job he gave Cas at their third encounter. He was immediately mortified that he was actually sucking a cock. He was now a cocksucker. He had failed to stick to his hazy plan of only having super gay stuff done for and to him, and never by him. But Cas was really cut and tan and hard and he seemed like he deserved some kind of attention for that and there was no one around to give it but Dean. Was there?  Dean didn’t think so. Wasn't he supposed to ask questions about this kind of stuff or like, wrap the guy's junk in Saran Wrap or something?  Dean flinched, keeping his jaw loose but twitching his whole head and scraping Cas slightly with his molars. Cas just sighed like he was being caresses with a feather, but he did turn his sharp gaze towards Dean, then immediately shifted his hips down into the couch, away from Dean's mouth. 

"Dean?" He asked in a really concerned and not sexy tone. 

Dean was now hunched over with hardly any cock in his mouth and he realized his neck was sore and his foot was asleep and he really wanted to be anywhere other than on his couch, about to ask a guy he couldn't even successfully suck off if he was clean, and if they were possibly going steady. 

"Dean, Dean, Dean." Cas moved like a flurry around him and suddenly Cas was wearing boxers but Dean was shirtless and they were both upright with Cas holding Dean an arms length away, by the shoulders, looking deep into his eyes. 

"Hey, Cas." Dean responded weakly, barely pushing the words past a hitch in his throat where he was previously getting nailed by a penis. 

"What is happening?" Cas asked in all seriousness, despite the truly comedic howls of a hot young hippie getting her tits sucked on by two equally hot "schoolgirl" brunettes. Dean coughed a laugh to lighten his mood. Cas just squinted. 

"I'm not sure how gay you have to be to give good head, but I guess I'm not that gay." Dean admitted, looking anywhere but Cas's face. 

"I'm sorry." Cas said after a pause. "I'm so sorry."  He stood up and reached for his pants, hazarding a glance towards the laptop and finding it once again adorned with some man on woman action. Cas grimaced and grabbed for his shirt. 

"What are you...? What?" Dean asked, standing on his knees on the couch and feeling bereft without Cas's hands on his shoulders. 

"Dean I- I keep getting you stimulated with heterosexual pornography and then pretending your attraction is to me."  Cas picked up his trench coat and stared at it.  "It's... despicable." His voice was lower now than Dean has ever heard it. "I can only believe that you've put up with it this long because you enjoyed having me as a friend, which makes everything I've done even worse."  Cas shrugged into his coat and moved swiftly but forlornly to the door.

"Cas wait!" Dean called out. He scrambled over the back of the couch and darted to cut Cas off from the door.  "Dude. You're wrong." Cas gazed into his eyes with sadness, laced with only a shred of hope. "I got distracted from the ...sucking because I was trying to figure out a way to ask you if this was-" Dean suddenly lost his muster "-exclusive?"  He stared at the floor, feeling like he had somehow just been tricked.

"Is it?" Cas asked with wonder in his voice. 

"Well it is for me.  I mean, I was kind of in a dry spell anyway. I know you're  into all this free love orgy porn so it's okay if exclusive's not your thing. I get it." 

Cas took a deep breath and flopped into one of Dean's spindly kitchen chairs.  

"Your complete disregard for your own needs and feelings is literally going to kill me."  Cas lamented. 

"I'm ...sorry?" Dean answered, feeling slightly more at ease now that Cas was the one who seemed destroyed inside. Dean was a problem solver. He could work with that. He knelt down next to Cas, steadying himself with a hand on the kitchen table. "Look,  I have my brother, and I have some friends, I just also have a shitty work schedule. I'm not putting my mouth all over you because I need you to go out for pancakes with me later. I'm just still getting used to the idea that you're really fucking hot. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

“I have no expectations.”  Cas tilted his head at Dean, as if Dean should have just known that.  Dean shook his head in disbelief.

“Everyone has expectations!”  Dean shot back with a hint of frustration. 

“Yes, I’ve had them in the past.  I mean in reference to us.  This is so unlike anything I’ve ever experienced that it has been nearly shutting me down, cognitively.  So I stopped worrying about it altogether.”

"Great plan.” Dean snarked.  Then he surged up to kiss Cas, which took the man’s breath away.  They continued to nip and pull at each other’s lips until Dean couldn’t hold the awkward crouch anymore, and he was forced to stand.

“That was unexpected.”  Cas smiled, wiping his bottom lip with his middle finger.  

“Says the guy with no expectations.”  Dean gazed fondly down at his friend.   Then he looked around his house, wondering how the evening was going to end.  More confessions?  More porn?  More kissing?  Goodbyes?  

“Dean.” Cas interrupted his thoughts, looking up curiously.  “I’ve never had a… 'partner' that was interested in viewing pornography with me.  I enjoy feeling so comfortable with you, but by no means are we required to view it every time we want to…”  Cas trailed off, uncomfortable again.

“Screw around?”  Dean finished.  “Hump?”  He licked his lips.  “Make out?”  He reached forward and pulled Cas up by his lapels, pushing Cas’s coat off his shoulders when he was sure the man had steady footing.  

“Express our...feelings for each other in a physical manner?”  Cas managed to sound shy, but his sharp glare thundered around Dean's head like an MRI. 

“Boyfriends.  That’s where you took this.”  Dean sighed.  Cas sniffed, and looked away.

“I’m sorry.  We do not have to use that term.  It just stood to reason that mutual exclusivity would indicate that we were acting on feelings that were more than platonic.”  Cas started examining the crown molding and Dean reveled in it for a moment, practically tasting the other man’s angst in the air.

“Alright, look-”  Dean started, with a uncomfortable list to the side, scratching his bare chest, awkwardly.  Cas began an almost imperceptible cringe.  “You’re gonna have to teach me the finer points of blowing a dude, because I’m not gonna put up with the shitstorm of coming out to my brother if I can’t even get you off."

Cas blinked out of his cringe and smiled a radiant, gummy grin.  

“Your brother Sam?  Will I get to meet him?”

"Yes. Otherwise he'll think I've gone nuts." 

"I don't understand." 

"If you knew my track record for dating people you would. Shit. Pretend I never said that."

Cas looked at the ceiling, then all around Dean's lackluster kitchen. 

"Right then. Fellatio. Let's start with a banana and go from there."

............

" _ Hey Sam. It's Dean. You know that, but whatever. Yeah. So the person I'm dating wants to meet you. They're pretty cool. I was thinking dinner at Nina's on Wednesday? Usual time. Just, uh, prepare to have your mind blown" _

 

 


End file.
